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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068762">Undercover</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littledanceingdragons/pseuds/Littledanceingdragons'>Littledanceingdragons</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fairy Tail</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Gray has a sad time and goes through some shit, Implied/Referenced Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:22:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littledanceingdragons/pseuds/Littledanceingdragons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gray doesn't let himself hear the screams they shattered all over the walls. It's easier to ignore than the blood covering his hands. He stands there, over the trembling body of a traitor. </p><p> </p><p>Isn't that what you are? </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I cannot get this shit out of my head so take this. Read the tags and uh yeah????</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Trapped is a word he doesn't like to use. But it is the truth, Gray is trapped here. Stuck between insanity and his own humanity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't think about the blood he had to spill just to fit into this dark place. Gray doesn't let himself hear the screams they shattered all over the walls. It's easier to ignore than the blood covering his hands. He stands there, over the trembling body of a traitor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Isn't that what you are? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns away, practicing telling him she's not going to be of use. Once again his actions are questioned and Gray wants to scream loud enough for the world to hear. " You don't know anything about interrogating. " Those are the choice words that pisses Jerome off. Gray's back nearly meets the wall, the sword is caught in his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks Jerome in the eyes as his sword crumbles under Gray's magic. The room is silent, watching the remains of a once great sword die into nothing. " What did you do? " The man hisses with venom, he just smiles wide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>" My bad. " Gray is still smiling wide. " Your sword is a curse, it's not my fault you decided to wave it at a demon.  " He knows amusement is written all over him. Jerome isn't amused, he narrows his eyes at Gray. " You are no Demon. " He spits, as if his opinion affects Gray. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gray shakes his head. " You really don't know what a demon is. Do you? " Abel squeaks at the words. The whole room becomes colder. He smiles again, sharp teeth on full display. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Something Natsu would do. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ice starts forming on the walls, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and the next thing he's about to do? Is something Erza would approve of. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>" Um, Gray? " Mary asks, shaking in her boots violently. He ignores her. " Him with no clothes. " Briar snaps. Gray doesn't flinch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>" Lord Gray. " Gōmon calls, the door is open. The same door Briar is standing next to. Silently he puts it together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What a disappointment. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jerome doesn't stop shaking, flinching when Gray's gaze lands on him. " Don't remain so ignorant about the world. " He tells Jerome, ignoring the way his gut twists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gray leaves the room with his head held high and shoulders set. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaves the compound itself, the magic wards not able to lash out at him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I should have killed him for that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The thought comes from a place in Gray he had to recreate. A place that helps him keep up this persona. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, that would be a waste. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thinks instead. Jerome is only </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhat </span>
  </em>
  <span>useful but it's enough to stop Gray from killing him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>For now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes he misses Fairy Tail. Longs for the comfort of his family instead of this toxic group he has to infiltrate. He misses his team. Lucy, Natsu, Happy and Erza. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if they would accept the changes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiles, for real this time. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They would. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>________________________________________________________________________</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gray calls Erza, ignoring the rage in his heart. Lucy is tied down and Natsu is chained to a wall with Happy. He wants nothing more than to rip Gōmon apart for even </span>
  <em>
    <span>touching </span>
  </em>
  <span>his family. Gray takes a breath. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gray. Do it. Save our family. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Erza had ordered it. Her own rage and desperation twisting into her words. He didn't need another moment of standing there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's satisfying to freeze Gōmon into place. To freeze his teammates' restraints and free them. Gray would have done it anyway. With or without Erza's approval he would have saved them. " Gray! " He's slammed into the ground by a ridiculously warm body. He looks up at Lucy, Natsu and Happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>" You idiot! " Natsu roars. " Don't ever say that again! " Lucy sobs, whacking Gray on the side of his head. He feels nothing but </span>
  <em>
    <span>warmth</span>
  </em>
  <span>. " Gray. " Natsu's voice turns soft and Gray shatters. Sobs rack his body while he clings to his best friend like he needs him to breathe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I missed you. I missed you both. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart </span>
  <em>
    <span>aches </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Natsu hugs him tight. " Under cover? " He asks softly, running a hand through Gray's now down hair. With shaking arms he hits Natsu twice on the back. A system made for when Gray shut down so badly he couldn't talk. " Fuck you probably hated it here. " </span>
  <em>
    <span>I still do. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natsu doesn't let Gray down and he can't complain about it. Even when heading to the town they have to stop Avatar from destroying. Natsu's warm arms and don't ever leave him. Gray feels whole again. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Will I go to someplace worse?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Break down 2.0</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Didn't expect to make another chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He can see the way his team looks at him. The way concerned gazes catch on him during a fight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They didn't before. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gray lashes out with his magic against the army they are up against. Nothing feels more right than fighting. His heart is heavy but his magic never falters. Natsu smiles at him in the end, standing firm at his side. Gray laughs for the first time in months. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They needed information. Erza sent Gray to get it done. He nodded at her, black covering half of his body. She stopped Lucy and Natsu from following him. He doesn't stop walking. The target sits at a table, situated in their home. Gray let's himself in with a terrifying grin. His facade is back up again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eyes scan over him while he relays the information. " Will they be okay? " Erza asks him, a hand on his shoulder. Gray shakes his head at her. " Words worked this time. " He explains softly and she nods. Because she understands. Erza knows what monster Gray had to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Have you done that before? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes a minute for Gray to register it. He turns to look at Natsu. His heart skips a beat and his palms feel sweaty. He can't </span>
  <em>
    <span>lie </span>
  </em>
  <span>to him. Not to Natsu. So Gray resolves himself and nods. " I had to. " He whispers, not quite looking at Natsu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Traitor. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands shake. Gray curls them into fists. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I never wanted this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wants to tell him. The words get caught and tangled in his throat and Gray can't share them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanted my family. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His eyes cloud over. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanted you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm hands grab his own. Gray doesn't have to look to know it's Natsu. " Gray. " His words are soft, almost a whisper. " What monster did you have to become? " Natsu asks. All at once Gray's world stops. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What monster did you have to become? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hands fumble and Gray Isn't there anymore. He's standing in that room again. There's blood on his hands and screams that reached his ears long ago. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please stop! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gray didn't stop. He couldn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>afford </span>
  </em>
  <span>to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dead bodies are slumped in that chair, bloodied faces turned to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His shoulders shake violently. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want to be a monster. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Natsu's hands are sure and warm. A small beacon in the haze of his mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want to become this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Memories and memories of dead people, screaming victims of this cruel game Gray got stuck in. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cruel </span>
  </em>
  <span>she hisses with her dying breath. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You will go to hell. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will I? Will I go to hell or will I go someplace worse? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's warmth pressed against his front and Gray closes his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Monsters don't feel regret, Gray. Remember that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The words echo and he slumps. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I was also never supposed to be a monster. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His arms shake with a fear he hasn't tasted in years. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But I am. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Sh Gray go to sleep. It's nothing dear I promise. </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Screams rip open the night's silence. The world is thrown into a disbalance. Gray barely opens his eyes, catching a glimpse of Lucy and Erza off to the side concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He says, already half buried against Natsu. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am so sorry. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Same rules apply.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey so uh read this if you want to comment on this: </p><p>This is a vent fic. It's emotional. Don't like don't open the damn story. And if you don't like it, please don't tell me about it in the comments. Not only is that absolutely horrible it's not constructive. And nor is an emotional story the place for any sort of constructive criticism outside of: the representation of mental illnesses, if there is a toxic trope or miss representation of something within the story. I'm only saying this because I have had problems with people acting as if commenting un-constructive opinions and or demands on my work before repeatedly. I am asking that you do not do this. </p></blockquote></div></div>
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